


Meta Analysis of Scenes From "Surrender Benson"

by elliots



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Analysis, Episode: s15e01 Surrender Benson, F/M, Meta
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-02
Updated: 2017-11-02
Packaged: 2019-01-28 16:18:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,554
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12610600
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elliots/pseuds/elliots
Summary: An analysis of scenes that pertain to Elliot's impact on Olivia and why they continue to orbit each other's axis, despite being apart from each other. A partnership that remains alive long after Elliot's departure and continues to leave a lasting impression on Olivia's life.





	Meta Analysis of Scenes From "Surrender Benson"

_“What’s that look? Are you feeling sad?”_

Right before Lewis says the first question, he is analyzing her as he is talking. There is a short pause and the tilt of of his head. He picks up on something in her eyes, in her face. Lewis’ manipulation skills comes from his ability to see the smallest details in others. For him, he seldom has to analyze his own emotional state because he is unable to feel empathy, so he can dedicate all of his time finding exactly what he needs to twist his victim with emotional torture, on top of the physical torture aspect.

_“Thinking about someone you’re never going to see again. Mom? Dad? Boyfriend? No, huh?”_

He is listing people while watching her reactions because wants to know exactly which knife to use to twist her gut. None of them hit. She is holding back, and there is someone thudding in her mind like the drumming of blood in her ears. She doesn’t want Lewis to talk about him, because she wants to use him as a mental anchor. A safe space in her head.

_“Someone else. Someone who you would give anything to see just one more time.”_

He is reaching but it hits her full force. He can make leaps and bounds instinctively, this being one of them. There is this frequent concept that happens when near death, or in a situation where you feel as if your time alive is limited, where you anchor yourself to a single person, a single thought. Someone that keeps you holding on, someone that your mind screams at you, telling you that you have to survive for them. Elliot is that person for her. In her mind, it's Elliot telling her to fight, telling her she can live through this. She is replaying his voice, his smile, his shoulder against her shoulder. It doesn’t matter that he physically left, he is mentally imprinted on her brain.

_“You’re gonna cry his name out… at some point. They always do.”_

This is a reason why later on, she says ‘my old partner’ instead of his name. She refuses to let Lewis use him as her weakness, because her relationship with Elliot has always been one of her greatest sources of strength.

-

_“My old partner… He’d know what to do. He wouldn’t question himself after what you’ve done.”_

Even though Elliot is only a few years older than Olivia (two years to be exact) when she came into the unit, Elliot was in some ways her mentor earlier in their partnership. He respected her but he also gave her a lot to follow. He not only had her back, he was patient and she internalized a lot of his methods. In the state she is in right now, her mind is desperately seeking a decision through him because she is so disoriented and suffering beyond comprehension. He is a stability she carries with her everyday.

_“He would kick your teeth in, break your legs, break your arms, break your back, break your face.”_

This her Elliot. It’s not a question of if he would but that he would. She reaches for his hypothetical actions because he is the only one she has let be protective of her, the only one she lets fight on her behalf. Granted, in the past his overprotective nature drove her up the wall, but after years and years of him never desisting, she grew attached to it and understood his attitude to be love rather than the belief he thought she couldn’t handle herself. He always knew she could, but he never wanted to take the risk of ever losing her.

_“Maybe I should call him. Maybe I should make him use that metal bar on you.”_

The amount of times they have thrown the law out the window for each other is essentially incalculable. She wants to call him, because she knows he would show up in a heartbeat without the police, and do exactly what she previously described. When it comes to each other, there is no bounds to what they would do. “Fault” and “Philadelphia” are prime examples of this. She also wants him to make her feel safe again. She knows in the back of her mind, that had he still been her partner, he likely would have tailed her home that night or shown up at her early the next day with breakfast, even if she was told to take two days off. Elliot could always sense when something was off and he always hovered when he knew a perp was taking a special interest in her. (See “Stalker” and “Wrath”) Her and Elliot had a dependency and closeness that couldn’t compare to any of her other relationships.

_“That old partner of yours… He sounds very macho, doesn’t he? It must have tough for you… all those long nights alone in the car.”_

An important reminder; Lewis plays into whatever he picks up on in his victims. He can tell that she is clinging to this man like a lifeboat, that the venom in her voice speaks to the dependency she has on the person she says is going to make him pay. He sees something in her eyes that screams she would do anything for this person, something that is dug so deeply in her own identity rather than a simple friendship.

_“You don’t get to talk about him.”_

She snaps to the defensive, immediately, even though she brought him up. This also echoes everyone around her as well. They feel as if they can’t talk about him around her, because it is like walking on eggshells and they had their own little world no one else was privy to. Elliot is hers, in a way that most people don’t understand.

_“Did he ever do you? He did, didn’t he?”_

He plays the sexual card, because in his mind two people that close had to have an attraction to one another. If she did, he will strike a nerve for it would be something she will never get back. If she didn’t, he will twist another knife in her gut by the reminder that the person she loved more than anything will never be more than an almost. He also phrases it in a derogatory way to demean the concept, “do” instead of “sex” or any other variation implies less value to it. Him doing her also implies that it is more one sided on her end. He is baiting her.

_“You still want him.”_

This line is devastating because it echoes a truth. She does want him. She wants to see him every morning, she wants to watch him smile, talk to him in the car, sit across a desk from him, she wants to go get drinks at one in the morning and talk about a sports game, make fun of him for needing glasses, she wants to see bump her shoulder with his and have someone know exactly what she orders at every place, she wants some to know her better than she knows herself and it kills her to hear it aloud.

_“I can hear it in your voice. You are all bottled up.”_

She has kept her own agony about Elliot to herself and no one tries to talk to her about it because no one feels like they have the right to. Now suddenly the psychopath a few feet in front of her is prying open wounds she has tried to seal shut by herself. It is bleeding through her voice, her body language, her eyes and she hates that it is. She wants him here, she wants him to shut Lewis up. She wants the reality of losing him to not be reality. She hasn’t dealt with it, instead she just put it in the back of her mind, and refused to acknowledge it. She aches for him and the cold hard truth is that she is so intertwined with him that even after two years, he is still home to her. And she doesn’t know how to make that stop or if she ever can.

 

(One last thing I would like to point is when she cuts her hair, something stood out. It is common for survivors to change parts of their appearance to offset the visual reminder of the experience that they went through. In Olivia’s psyche, however, there is another reason that could have prompted her to impulsively do this. She cuts to a length similar to season one, a time where she felt invincible and powerful. A time where she breathed a little easier and when she felt like she could handle anything that came her way. It is a physical attempt at regaining control. She had shorter hair most of the time when she was partnered with Elliot. It represents a portion of her life where she felt the most on solid ground. She was young, she had Elliot, she had control.)

She ends up beating the life out of Lewis, very nearly killing him, making a decision that was based off what she believed Elliot would do as well. She carries him with her and he plays a part of that small voice in her head, telling her to never give up.

**Author's Note:**

> This is all personal speculation and a view point that is entirely my own. I am not Dick Wolf.


End file.
